Fostering Friendships

I remember as a child being painfully shy. I wanted to make friends, but I wasn’t sure how and I wasn’t sure anyone would like me. I remember my mom, who has always been a friendly person, saying, “Just be friendly. Ask what their name is and tell them your name.” It made sense, yet for some reason I just couldn’t do it. I did take some of her advice though and I did try to join in games or activities that others were doing. Still to talk to someone I didn’t know was very hard, so most of the time I just listened. Now listening isn’t a bad skill, still, just how do those of us on the shyer side learn to make friends? I am happy to say, I’e come a long ways since those shy days. I don’t consider myself shy any more. I am really more outgoing and I’m loving it. How did I get there and how can we help our kids make friends?

I prayed about it. My best friend Jesus heard a small girl’s prayers and little by little, He answered. He nudged me out of my comfort zone to introduce myself to others and to be the first one to say my name. I still mostly listen during conversations, but I find that people love to talk to someone who listens to them and who tries to understand how they feel. I also learned to smile and ask questions. When you give someone a genuine smile, they usually smile back and when you ask about their day or wish them a good day, it lets them know that you care. As I listen, I try to really listen and remember what someone has told me. When we listen only with the intent of thinking of what we are going to say, we often miss what the other person is really talking about, but when we listen to understand and then respond with genuine interest, we’ve gained a friend.

I also learned that most people are not trying to judge you. Yes, I suppose we all make snap judgements at times. I know I’ve met someone and thought, “Oh they must be a teacher.” because of something they said only to find out that they worked in a doctor’s office or I’ve thought that someone was rich because they dressed very nicely and later found out that they weren’t any richer than I was, but they knew how to shop the sales. Still most people aren’t automatically trying to judge you as a person or judge what you say unless you are responding in an unkind manner. Most people are happy to smile back at you and are glad that there are some friendly people in the world.

If you are in a group where you don’t know anyone and feel kind of alone, you can be sure that there is at least one other person feeling the same way. So just introduce yourself. Ask their name and then ask where they are from, where they grew up, what their job is or even about the weather. Just introduce yourself! You might make their day.(Did you know that you can find lists of “getting-to-know-you” questions on line if you need something to get you started?)

Ok, so I’m still not the life of the party and I sometimes wonder if I will ever have a friendship quite like David had with his friend Jonathan, but I’m happy to say, I have friends – lots of friends and I am definitely not shy!!! In fact, I belong to a Toastmaster’s group and I actually enjoy public speaking. I didn’t get there overnight, but little by little, with God’s help, I faced my fears. I challenged myself to get out of my comfort zone and I realized that there were a lot of other people, just like me who were little apprehensive about introducing themselves. I’m still growing in my quest to be braver and more outgoing. My next goal is to get enough courage to share my ideas in group meetings even if I’m afraid that everyone is smarter and has better ideas than I do, even if I come across as ridiculous. The only ridiculous idea or question is the one not asked or shared.

How can we ever hope to have a friend like David had in Jonathan? Perhaps the best answer is to genuinely love and care about others. When we can get our eyes off of ourselves and our fears, focusing on the other person instead, then we can be a friend. The best way to make friends is to simply be a friend to someone else.

PRAYER: Father God,
Thank you for being my friend and thank you for sending Jesus to the world. He lived among us and experienced what we experience. He knew loneliness, pain, hunger and thirst. He endured ridicule, misunderstanding and rejection. he also experienced love and companionship and through it all, He loved and served. He healed and helped. He lived selflessly and He called us to follow Him. He died so that we might live in relationship with our Father God. Thank you Jesus, for being my friend. Help me, Lord, to let go of my selfish fears and be a friend to others. I know that I can be a friend because you are my friend and you are always with me. Amen

WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH YOUR CHILD?
SHARE A STORY: Good Friends – David & Jonathan – 1 Samuel 20:12-42
David and Jonathan were very good friends. They loved each other. (Give self a hug.) But Jonathan’s dad was the king and he didn’t like David. (Make sad, mean face.) He was jealous and wanted to hurt David. Jonathan promised David that he would find out if his dad really was mad, (Show mad face.) then he would let David know so that he could go away where it was safe.

Jonathan talked to his dad and King Saul was still very angry. He thought people liked David better than him. Jonathan was sad because his dad was mad. (Show sad face.) But He had promised to let David know and good friends keep their promises. Good friends help each other.

Jonathan went out to the field where David was hiding. He shot some arrows to let David know that his dad was still mad and that David needed to get away. Afterwards Jonathan sent the boy who was with him back to town so he could see his friend, David, one last time. David came out from where he was hiding to say good bye to his friend. They cried together, (Say, “Boo hoo!”) and they promised to be friends forever. (Say and clap, “Friends forever.”) They promised to be kind to each other.

David and Jonathan were very good friends.They loved God (Point up.) and they loved each other. (Give self a hug.)You can be a good friend too. Ask God to help you be a good friend and show kindness just like Jonathan did. Do you know who wants to be your good friend? Jesus! He really loves you. You can be a good friend to others because Jesus lis a good, good friend to you.

PRAYER:
Dear God,
Thank you for my friends. Help me to be a good friend and be kind to others.
Help me remember to share. Thank you God for being my friend too. I love you! Amen

MEMORIZE: Proverbs 17:17 – (Hold hands open as though holding a book.)
A friend – (Hook pointer fingers together.)
Loves – (Give self a hug.)
At all – (Throw hands out to sides.)
Times – (Point to clock.)

VERSE SONG: (To the tune of “Mary Had a Little Lamb”)
A friend loves at all times,
All times, all times.
A friend loves at all times,
And Jesus is a friend of mine.
(2nd time through replace last line with Proverbs 17:17)

FOSTERING OUR KID’S FRIENDSHIPS (Parents)
With young children, getting together with other families with young children is a good start. Young children begin to understand friendship as they simply play alongside one another. Playing with your child as he/she plays alongside others helps too – as well as having toys that can be shared – 2 trucks, 2 dolls, blocks, etc.

• Teach your preschooler what to say when meeting someone new. “Hi! My name is …. What’s your name?”
• Invite someone over to play one on one. with your child. It’s a little less intimidating one on one than in a whole group..
  
  FRIENDSHIP IN CLASS (Teachers)

• Introduce kids to each other. Have some of the friendlier, less shy kids be greeters to welcome other kids. Assign someone to be a new child’s special buddy the first day in class.
• Play a name game in circle time by clapping different names or singing the names around the circle.
• Include activities where more than one child is included – art activities done as a group or building together, doing a puzzle together, etc.
• Model and role play how to introduce yourself and some get-to-know you types of questions.
• With older kids, encourage friendships amongst kids who have like interests, but also amongst kids who are different.
• Celebrate each child’s uniqueness.

Loving God’s Word

PHOTO CAPTION: Loving life! Let’s love God’s Word too.



I think my love of God’s word began as a child in Sunday School. I had teachers who welcomed me and loved me and made going to 
Sunday School fun. One of my earliest recollections is of my beginner teacher having play clay out for us to play with as we came into class on Sunday. I used to love rolling that clay and trying to shape it. She also would put pictures into a decorated shoe box that we could look through a hole and see, kind of like a miniature 3-D effect. I’m probably dating myself with these memories, but the thing I remember most was that she made the Bible come alive for us and taught us that prayer is talking to God. He hears us and He delights in answering even the prayers of His little ones. 



Later on, as a grew and could read on my own, I had another teacher who encouraged me to read and study the Bible on my own. He would give us prizes each Sunday if we came back and had studied our lesson for the week or had read our Bible. I don’t remember exactly how he knew whether we had or not. I think he probably gave us a chart to mark off. Whatever he did, he stressed the importance of reading God’s Word. He set a good example by reading himself and he encouraged us to make reading God’s Word a habit. It became as much a part of my daily routine as brushing my teeth and getting ready for school.

I’m thankful for teachers who encouraged this love of God’s Word in me. It has been a habit that has been such a blessing. Still today, it’s a big part of my life. It’s not just a daily discipline that I have to do, but it’s a vital part of my life. I enjoy reading my Bible and welcoming God into my day. I feel like God talks to me as I read. Often He speaks words of encouragement to me. When I am sad, lonely, or stressed about something, He reminds me how much He loves and cares for me. He reminds me that He is my provider, protector, shepherd, savior, everything that I need. 



I sometimes feel today with all the technology that our kids and now have at their disposal – TV, movies, video games, computers, I-pads, social media sites,etc; that we have lost that vital, life-giving, love for God’s Word. How can we recapture that? What can we do to encourage the love of God’s Word in our kids lives? I’m not sure I know, but I think we need to try. Check below for a few ideas and please send me your ideas too. I’m always open for new ideas. As we share with one another, maybe we can come up with some things that really work and of course, prayer helps too. Ask God what’s going to work for your kids, then do it. He knows and He loves them best.

Let’s start this journey of loving and living God’s Word together and see where it leads. Come go on a Bible adventure with me. It’s the best choice you will ever make.

PS Remember God’s Word is powerful. Miracles happen when we stand on God’s Word. Let’s pray that this next generation learns the powerful, miraculous impact that God’s Word can have in their lives.
Let’s pray that they understand the deep love that God has for them and begin to seek Him in a new way. Reading God’s Word should be approached as a chance to talk with your best friend – it’s more about relationship than simply something to be done.

* PARENT PRAYER:

Dear Jesus,

Thank you for sending your Spirit to be with us always. You have been so faithful to me through the years, through the good and the bad times, the hard news and the good news. Life is constantly changing, but you never change. You are alive and you are forever. You walk with me encourage me, strengthen me and you are my best friend. You heal when I am sick. You take my hand when I’ve lost hope. You create in me a refreshing garden in those dry, barren places of my life as I give them to you. You guide, give wisdom and you love me like no other. Show me how I can share that love with my kids, grandkids and others. I don’t have the strength to love like you do so love through me. Give me opportunities to share with my family and others this forever good news that you are alive and want to be our forever friend. I welcome you as my forever friend. Amen

• ENCOURAGING A LOVE FOR GOD’S WORD
• I feel so inadequate at this. It was easier with my kids as I could read to them and often did – even into their high school years. It’s not quite so easy with grandkids. Still I ask God to give me opportunities to speak into their lives and show them the grace-filled, merciful love of God as revealed in His Word.
  
• 1. Read the Bible yourself. If you are having a hard time understanding it, get a translation that makes more sense to you. Ask God to help you understand His Word and to speak to you through it. Start in the gospels – Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
• 2. For yourself, read with friends and discuss together. Others may have insight that you don’t.
• 3. For your kids, read with them. I used to feel disappointed when my kids got up in the morning before I was able to read God’s Word. It was like I never had any God and me time, but then God nudged me and said, “Read to them.” I realized this was a short segment of my life that would not last forever, so I started reading and trying to put it into language they would understand.
• 4. Get a Bible or Bible storybooks that are age-appropriate.

Kid’s Section

SHARE A STORY: 
King Josiah Finds God’s Word 
2 Chronicles 34-35:19 


Luke 18:15-17

Once there was a boy named Josiah. He was only eight years old when he became king! He loved God and tried to do what was right. (Give self a hug.)

Some of the kings that ruled before Josiah had let the temple church become dirty and broken. They didn’t care about God’s house. They didn’t trust God. Instead they worshiped statues made out of wood and stone. 

When Josiah grew up, he decided to clean and repair the temple church. He wanted it to be a place to worship God again. Josiah asked men to help him and they rebuilt and repaired the temple church.


One day one of the priests, Hilkiah, found a scroll. A scroll had writing on it and was rolled up. It was like a book. Guess what? The scroll was a special book. It was God’s special book. Hilkiah told Shaphan and Shaphan took the scroll to King Josiah. Shaphan read it to the king. 

When King Josiah heard the words, he was very sad. (Make sad face.) He was sad because God’s people had not been following God’s rules.

King Josiah asked the people to go to the temple church with him. He read God’s Word to the people there. King Josiah promised to love, obey and trust God with all his heart. (Give self a hug.) He told the people to love, obey and trust God too. Josiah was sad (Make sad face.) that the people had not been obeying God, but he was happy (Smile!) and thankful that they had found God’s Word. He wanted the people to love. trust, listen and obey God’s Word.


We can be thankful for God’s Word just like Josiah was. We can love, trust and obey God just like Josiah did too

PRAYER: 

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me your Word, the Bible, so that I can know what you want me to do and how much you love me. Help me to listen to the Bible and do what is right. Thank you for loving me. Amen

KNOW: God’s Word is always true.
TALK ABOUT: Favorite Bible stories. Why are they your favorite?
ASK: Who loves you? God loves me.



AND DO: Read a Bible story together with your child and thank God for His word.



MEMORIZE: Proverbs 3:5 NIrV – (Hands open like holding a book.)

Trust – (Hands open, pull back towards you closing into fists.)

In the Lord – (Make and L with your hand, touch shoulder & hip.)

With all – (Hands out wide to sides.)

Your heart – Hands on heart.)



FUN IDEAS FOR THIS WEEK
*  Read a favorite Bible story together. For even more fun, act it out!
*  Hide your child’s Bible somewhere in the house and then go on a hunt to find it. 
* Some easy Bible experiences for Preschoolers are: “The Beginner’s Bible”, “Read With Me Bible” and “The Bible App For Kids”

For Elementary Ages: “Easy To Read Version” or The New International Readers Version” . The You Version Bible App now also has a Kids Bible Experience that is good for this age.